I brought my little brother Spencer as my date and when I told him I was nominated for this [Hot & Funny] award, he told me that if under any circumstances I won, I had to say the following things. 

(via unshaped)

I like how on Tumblr we all have lots of sass but in real life we can’t say hi without fucking up.

(Source: shady-brain-farm, via crystallized-teardrops)

spermbanker:

sometimes i get distracted by my own cleavage like… nice…….

(via departured)

queen-bitchass:

espressobean:

Man with suit made of Mentos is dunked in a tank full of Diet Coke.

DID HE SURVIVE

(via c-untdown)

circumcising:

I LOVE LEARNING BAD THINGS ABOUT PEOPLE I DON’T LIKE

(via ugly)

perriwinkle:

*knits myself a thong*

(via fake-mermaid)

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